I think you hit on my problem.
When you turn off the engine, the seat and mirror settings are saved to the IA key. So my key, and my wifes key both had her settings saved on them.
So when I would unlock the door the seat would not move from her settings.
It's her car, and I have not driven it without her, until last light.
When we picked up the Escape from the dealer, we had started and stopped the engine many times during the inspection/demo.
So now if I drive the Escape with just my IA key in it, with seat and mirrors adjusted to me, turn off the engine, lock the car. Then with me away from the car, she car unlock the car by pulling on the door handle, and the seat will move to her position.
I'm still confused if both of us are in the car with both IA keys which ones it saves the setting to when you turn off the engine.